dream invasion (frustrating and weird)

Ok so since I began going to college there’s been this one professor…

I know, bad way to start off but let’s see if you can guess where this is going.

Three years ago now I started my college career and to begin with I pretty much had no idea what i wanted to do so I just took a bunch of random classes. One of which was an Anthropology class called comparative world cultures. Long story short it was a pretty interesting class and while the subject matter was fascinating that wasn’t what really caught my eye. The professor did… So the next semester I took another class with him. And the semester after that. So on and on. That’s why i went in to Anthropology, just so I had an excuse to take his classes. Then i began going to the Anthropology club on Wednesday nights where we sat around watching movies and drinking. My professor invited me to a local gaming group and since I’m a gamer and I thought it was pretty cool getting to chill with him outside of school i started going on Saturdays. As it turned out the gaming group was really a drinking group. And since at the time I drank a fair amount it was pretty fun. I started looking forward to Saturdays so that I could talk with him and get to know him better. See it would have been one thing if he was just attractive but he’s also witty and intelligent so ugh and bleh. He had always been pretty friendly until my boyfriend came with me to the game group and then he began giving me the cold shoulder. I stopped going to the game group for a while and then started going again when my social life declined. One night when I was particularly drunk and about to leave I gave everyone there hugs just so I could give my professor a hug and kiss him on the cheek. It made me want more because I felt his enjoyment, and I don’t mean like his dick got hard. I could feel his arms tighten around me. Ugh. After that i started to have pretty regular dreams of him and I in various locations doing various things. Some of which were sexual. Which is why I’m writing this post right now. Last night I had a dream that he was laying on the floor playing with a super cute cat (and I really like cats) so I went up and played with the cat which in my dream was his cat. When he saw how much the kitty liked me he pulled me next to him and started cuddling me and kissing my neck gently. I don’t really remember the rest but I get a vague feeling that there were sexual parts in my dream. I woke up afterwards feeling aroused and disappointed for the millionth time that my dream wasn’t real.

I know it’s pathetic but I really just want to kiss him and feel him touch me. I knew that night i was drunk and we had that little moment that if it ever happened we’d go off like fireworks. Unfortunately as much as I fantasize about it happening it probably never will. He’s pretty much married to another one of my old professors and I’m in a shitty relationship with the least romantic guy I’ve ever met.

So I just have to keep telling myself that it would probably suck worse than I can imagine and that he has a small penis. Even though I know it would be epic. Ugh I’m so frustrated I really just want to go bang my head against the wall and down a beer even though it’s only six in the morning. I haven’t slept and just thinking about him makes me horny. The sad part is I could go fuck my boyfriend but it’s always so lackluster that I don’t even want to bother. And so I continue to suffer. Ugh and bleh.

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